Sunday, 28 February 2010

Saturday, 27 February 2010


Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity:
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched . . .
. . . is directly proportional . . .
. . . . . . to the stupidity of your act

Law of Random Numbers:
If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal . . .
. . . and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because . . .
you had a flat tire; the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will always move faster
than the one to which you switched . . . (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water . . .
. . . the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know . . .
increases dramatically . . .
when you are with someone . . .
.. . . . you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone . . .
. . . that a machine won't work . . .
. . . . . . it will work fine.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional . . .
. . . to the reach needed to scratch it.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early,
before the end of the performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once,
have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end
of the performance. The aisle people are also very surly folk.

The Coffee Law :
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee . . .
your boss will ask you to do something which will last . . .
. . . until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room . . .
. . . they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces :
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich . . .
landing face down on a floor . . . are directly correlated . . .
. . . to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible . . .
. . if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance:
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking :
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy:
As soon as you find . . .
. . . a product that you really like . . .
. . . . . they will stop making it..

Doctors' Law :
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better.

But, don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Friday, 26 February 2010

Easy money

Funk all those “How to become a Millionaire” books – I’ve got a blinder that’ll cost you no more that 2 rats and will make you a mint in a night. All you need for this is a group of mates, a Snickers bar and half a pint of cider. That’s your only investment. Here’s what to do.

So, you’re in a pub chilling with your pals – a warm Snicker in your pocket and half a pint in your hand. Go to the toilet, drop the chocolate bar in to the half-pint and place the glass on the shelf above the urinals. Return to your pals.

Within a few moments nature will call and one of the group will need to go for a piss. Thirty seconds later he returns in a shock “Some dirty scrubber and coiled one in a glass and pissed all over it!!”. (The Snickers has begun to stagnate and mix with the cider and a few peanuts are bobbing on the top – Artwork!)

Go and retrieve your concoction, slam it on the table and in your half-cooked state deliver the line “£100 and ill knock it back”

Out comes the money, down goes the food and drink and you’re not only £100 better off but also a mad-f**k in your mates minds! BOOM….Seeeeeya, on to the next pub…

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Spotting Liars

EYE CONTACT: A bad liar feels uncomfortable with deception and may use tactics such as rubbing their eyes to avoid eye contact. If a pal does this while they're telling you about how fit last night's date was, you can assume they're being dishonest.

The opposite of avoiding eye contact is the fixed stare and this can also be a giveaway. This liar is determined to convince you they are telling the truth. If they hold eye contact for more than SIX seconds be suspicious about what they are telling you.

The fact liars can't look victims in the eyes is a myth. A liar often overcompensates eye contact in an attempt to convince the victim they're not making things up.

WHERE THEY LOOK: When right-handed people are lying, they tend to look right. With left-handers it's the other way round.

WHAT THEY SAY: How liars answer questions can also expose them and you should look out for what is called "a contraction". So for example if a truthful person is asked: "Did you falsify this report?" they will reply "No, I didn't."

Whereas a liar will have no time to think about the process and simply mirror the questioner's language and stretch out the sentence, such as: "No, I did not do that."

HOW THEY STAND: Liars will tend to cross their ankles or arms - but a lot of people are aware of that body language and will try to keep a more open posture to put victims off the scent.

Observing a person's stance when they're standing up can be a good indicator. A liar may deliberately position their posture at a right angle to avoid standing in an open position. If they do, they could be telling porkies.

WATCH THEIR HANDS: When kids tell a lie, they will usually cover their mouth and this is worth remembering.

Any kind of gesture from someone's hands towards the upper chest, face or head area - like scratching their head - can mean untruths.

Also, if somebody is holding something like a coffee cup or folder between themselves and you, watch out. They could be using it to create a subconscious barrier to hide behind.

WATCH THEIR LIPS: People's lips will go pale in times of stress. And if they are red-faced or white as a sheet while speaking to you this can be a giveaway too. This happens in response to the body's natural flight or fight response in times of pressure, which can be sparked by lying.

TWITCHES: Liars often twitch which can be one of the easiest signs to spot. Often it's the liar's eyelids which twitch or it could be a tiny muscle in the cheek or neck.

Males have an area at the bottom of the nose which actually twitches when we know we haven't told the truth.

WHEN WOMEN LIE: The biggest girlie giveaway is blushing and can be a sign your missus is lying.

Down the chute!


Sunday, 21 February 2010

More Muslim hatred in Sweden

It's all so sad, this . Naivety, sloth, ignorance on behalf of Western governments. Read....and weep

Friday, 19 February 2010

Have yourself a cultural week


The Philanthropist Submit review ‘Bourgeois comedy’ by Christopher Hampton. Oxford dons continue sexual and semantic squabbles against a backdrop of political murder and anarchy.
7.30pm, £5(£4)
Burton Taylor Studio (, Gloucester Street, (between Beaumont Street and Gloucester Green), Oxford OX1 2BN; Tel. 01865 305305.


Drugs, Science and Politics


Dr Stephen Law - "What's It All About Then? Life, the Universe, and Everything"
- Wadham College, Moser Theatre, OX1 3PN (directions)

IMPerium The Oxford Imps In their most ambitious project to date, the Oxford Imps improvise an entirely new world each night, in which even the most minor of characters has a story to tell.
7.30pm, £5(£4)
Burton Taylor Studio (, Gloucester Street, (between Beaumont Street and Gloucester Green), Oxford OX1 2BN; Tel. 01865 305305.


Yawn Edward Fish is a great talker, a bad sleeper, predator, automobile enthusiast, admirer of Jane Austen's heroines. Tonight he has to entertain Rachel. And she will like it. Suitable for 12+.
7.30pm, £9 (£7)
OFS Studio (, 40 George Street OX1 2AQ; Tel. 0844 847 2360.

Facebook group:

Synopsis: Edward Fish is a great talker, a bad sleeper, predator, automobile enthusiast, an admirer of Jane Austen’s heroines and most importantly Constance’s husband. Tonight, though, he will have to entertain Rachel, Constance’s old school friend. And she will like it. As supper approaches, Edward rehearses for his final charm-assault.


IMPerium The Oxford Imps In their most ambitious project to date, the Oxford Imps improvise an entirely new world each night, in which even the most minor of characters has a story to tell.
7.30pm, £5(£4)
Burton Taylor Studio (, Gloucester Street, (between Beaumont Street and Gloucester Green), Oxford OX1 2BN; Tel. 01865 305305.


Poetry Workshop
- Lincoln College, Lower Lecture Room, OX1 3DR (directions)
Everyone is welcome to come and share their atheist/agnostic/irreverent/theological poetry and offer sensitive, constructive feedback - or just bring your favourite piece of Godless verse along to read and discuss. We only ask that you bring something to read (a short piece of prose is fine) and if at all possible around six printed copies so we can read along. Open to writers of all ages and levels of experience. There is no need to register in advance.
Samantha Stein, Camp Quest UK Director - "Public Perceptions of Atheism"
- Wadham College, Moser Theatre, OX1 3PN (directions)
Founder and director of Camp Quest UK Samantha Stein will be delivering a talk on "Public Perceptions of Atheism".

Samantha Stein, writer, public speaker, and student is best known for her involvement with Camp Quest. After reading about this US secular summer camp in Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion", Samantha volunteered at Camp Quest Michigan in 2007 where the idea for bringing Camp Quest to the UK was first discussed. She is now Camp Director for Camp Quest UK, the UK's first residential summer camp for the children of atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers and all those who embrace a naturalistic rather than supernatural world view. The first camp was held in July 2009, with two more camps planned for 2010. Samantha graduated from York University with a BSc in Psychology and is currently taking an MA in Religion in Contemporary Society at Kings College London.
Show Bio...
Comedian Iszi Lawrence - "The Experiences of an Awkward Atheist"
- Bar Copa Function Room, OX1 2AU (directions)
Stand-up comedian Iszi Lawrence will be performing a set discussing "the experiences of an awkward atheist". The set will draw on material from her first hour show, the Time Out-recommended "Matter of Tact"

Recent short stories published in The Sunday Times Magazine:

Lionel Shriver - Negative equity

Edmund White - Record time

Julian Barnes - Complicity

TC Boyle - Hands on

John Updike - The full glass

Aravind Adiga - Smack


This may be interesting for maths students.

This is a target to beat - especially for Oxbridge applicants!

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Monday, 15 February 2010

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Kriss Donald

Is this why people join the BNP?

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Music to make you happy (Duncan)


...students like Stella, Veronika and others....

Clarendon Lectures - Economics Oxford University Press The Biological Foundations of Economic and Social Behaviour by Ernst Fehr.
email: / Tel. 01865 353268
5.30pm, free
St. Cross Building, Manor Road, Oxford


Saturday, 6 February 2010

Friday, 5 February 2010

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Scary stuff!

click the link...

LSE Lectures

LSE Lectures - visit here for videos

Look for the December lecture by Raj Patel.

two reasons:

a. it's a clear and well thought through lecture

b. Because of this.....

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Business - video - marketing

This is interesting



Not what it initially seems...

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Monday, 1 February 2010

Wake your brain up!

It's simple: close your eyes and visualize in your mind that your head is about one inch bigger all around than it is.

Actually *see* this in your mind's eye.

If you hold this image in your head for about 30 seconds straight it sends your nervous system a signal to pump more oxygen to your brain.

It's a bizarre "brain hack," but it's actually measurable via CT scan.

People who try it usually experience a sense of heightened alertness on the first try. (if it didn't work - try a few times - really *see* your head as being larger in your mind's eye)

Another way to awaken your brain is to train a "dormant" area.

For example, most of us don't know how to draw - yet if we were to train ourselves to (and it's quite easy as demonstrated here ...

...) we would see a dramatic improvement in our alertness, our confidence, our communication ...

Most people go through life thinking that we either "have it or we don't."

For the most part - that's nonsense.

To use the example of drawing again, for the 99.9% of the population that doesn't know how to draw, it's not that they don't have any talent - it's just that they haven't been given proper instruction.

This part of your brain is "lying dormant" only to be awakened by a good teacher.

Awakening the various parts of your brain that are untapped is deeply rewarding on a great many levels.